"Pigeon, you thieving prick!" Peacock screamed.
Well. He wanted to scream, but all that came out was a sprinkle of whispers and some coughing. Somebody had stolen Peacock’s song.
Pigeon had a habit of this sorta shit. He made off with Crow and Magpie’s songs, a neat trick considering how clever those two are, but Pigeon is so soft and stupid-looking that folks forget to take him serious. He returned Crow and Magpie’s songs, but on his way he dropped them in the dirt and stepped on them a few times. Could have been spite, could have been clumsiness. They used to be sweet and now they’re… Well, you know.
Normally, something like this happens to somebody like Peacock and nobody gives a shit. He can’t even fly, right? But Peacock is the bimbo diva of the bird world. Being pretty and arrogant’s what got him permanently grounded in the first place. He made such a fucking nuisance of himself that Eagle noticed and got involved. Then the other raptors got in on the action, all of them sitting around sharpening their talons. Pretty soon Pigeon was on everybody’s menu.
Eagle put out the word: Pigeon, give back Peacock’s voice so he stops wheezing around all over the place and we’ll let you live. Pigeon’s not suicidal so he comes out with Peacock’s song, but some last-minute reluctance turns it into a tugging match. When Peacock gets the song back it’s stretched out and warped.
And Peacock goes birdshit.
His song is now the most annoying thing ever heard, and Eagle’s cowering, actually cowering, with his wings covering his head. The Crow, Magpie and Raven are laughing and wincing. Eagle shouts for everybody to shut the fuck up, but Peacock won’t be silenced, Peacock wants retribution.
Eagle grabs Pigeon and blunts his throat, screams out his ears. Now Pigeon’s partially deaf and his coo is just a little thing. While Pigeon is staggering around trying to get his shit together, Eagle banishes him to the city. That’s why, to this day, pigeons always roost in such tight groups. Their song’s have about as much power as a strong fart and they’re stone deaf.
It was a tainted victory for Peacock. Pretty as he is, nobody can stand to talk to him for long, not with a song like that.