Stand Me a Drink

Kid, if you stand me a drink I’ll tell the story of how I got his here scar. Nasty business, right? Comes right outta the bottom of my bowler and barely leaves my eye alone on its way south.

I’ll tell you all about it, but I’m gonna need something for the dust in my throat. Ah, that’s a good, lad. Mmm. Whiskey, sir, is good for what ails you. Now, where was I?

That’s right, this story of my scar.

Back when you could travel south without catching a stray bullet meant for a Gettysburg-standing blue coat, a man could find certain favor in the places beyond the great river of Mexico. That’s right, the Ree-yo Gran-day. I and a partner had a helluva venture between us. Put some silver together and went looking for that bright shine of the earth. We had us some luck too, down in some place past even Mexico. Down far enough where you can’t eat nothing what won’t kill you and the natives speak something what ain’t even Spanish.

But we found us fortune. That we did.

There was this cave in the sight of a mountain and my partner and I, we went in there and figured we’d mine a vein of yellow gold softer and richer than Virginia creamery butter. But we ain’t find no gold, no sir.

We followed the black length of that cave to the end and in a shaft of sunlight passing down from Jesus knows where I saw my long-dead wife in her wedding dress.

Now, easy son, sit down and don’t fret none. I ain’t a liar and I ain’t crazy. Just let me finish my tale. After all, you done paid for it in whiskey. You may as well listen.

There she was, in fine white and spinning in a slow dirge, her eyes on the source of that shaft of light and I couldn’t help but gasp and fall to my knees for I loved her something dear. Now, I don’t know what my partner saw, but he damn sure ain’t seen what I did. Cuz he went white as my wife’s dress and cried out a man’s name.

He rushed forward before I could grab him and vanished into a black patch on the floor that I had taken for shadow. My dancing wife, she never ever looked our way as his screams faded from ear. Inching forward, I felt with my hands into the black ahead and met nothing. I lit a match and tossed it in, watched the black swallow it down like bourbon.

Looking up, I saw my wife just spinning there. She was always such a beautiful dancer and for the second time in my life, I had to leave her. Was obvious she wasn’t gonna come with me. If she was even there at all.

I left that jungle and my fortune far behind. Came back here to New York. Don’t think I’ve been off this bar stool since.

What’s that? My scar? Shit, didn’t I mention? Damn. That’s a shame and me so thirsty too. I don’t suppose you’d care to stand me another? Ah, that’s a good lad.